Enlightened Regressivism


I promise that the poem on this page is the only one in the book.

Inspired by the intellectually dishonest progressives, the poem below came to me on my kayak in the middle of Pensacola Bay. I never intended to put it in any book; in fact, I never really intended to write a book like this at all. Since I did, it seemed fitting to begin it with a sarcastic shot at the left in lyrical fashion. Life wasn’t always this way in the United States; help us return us to the great nation we once were. Now that we have elected another Marxist president, it is time to stand up, not be ashamed and admit you are an Enlightened Regressivist.



We want free health care, food jobs and much more.

Bestow this to all of our poor and near poor

The compassionate know it's for all of our good.

They'd feel this way too if They understood.


They argue of waste with irrelevant facts,

And never agree to increase Their tax.

It's not about me and all of my friends,

Their means should be used to accomplish our ends.


All They want is an impervious militia.

But what would happen to my sister, Patricia?

And cousins, Phil, Tom and Sam and Aunt Millie

Who all work for Congressman Uncle Billy.


They're sadly lacking in social thinking.

They say it's our fault our country is sinking,

Cause' there's too much waste in spending these days.

They don't realize how well our government pays.


We must decide to whom to distribute

The money from Them who only contribute.

It should be sent to where there is need

From They who are filled with scandalous greed.


More for our schools, our kids will be smarter.

They’ll just have to work a little bit harder.

More for Senators, their friends and their staffs,

And to study the thought process of Congan giraffes.


They don't seem to know that if They don't provide

Our needy may not amply flourish and thrive.

Or worse, we'd be forced to work for low pay,

And earn far less than we're getting today.


From each with ability to those in some need

Is not a destructive, sacrilegious creed,

But a sound system based on truth and reason,

And if They won’t fund it, jail Them for treason!


They say They just want to be left alone,

So now and then we should throw them a bone.

So wink, then nod and smile when you see Them,

But don't let Them ever know that we need Them.


Next: Always Two Reasons