Replace Capital Punishment with Banishment

An eye for an eye, a life for a life. Capital punishment is one of those issues in which it is hard to be definitive. Self-defense is not even a crime, but murder is punishable by death in many states. I have no problem with a murderer being put to death by man. He has committed the most grievous offense against us and must be punished accordingly. If I witnessed the murder, I would have no trouble pulling the switch on the electric chair, wrapping the noose around his neck, squeezing the trigger of the loaded rifle, opening the gas vents, or injecting the needle.


The average stay on death row is more than 12 years now, so we have to pay for this social miscreant for more than a decade. The cost per year for such an inmate is roughly $75,000 per year, so just the average incarceration costs nearly a million dollars, sometimes more. This doesn’t include the trial which can cost hundreds of thousands even millions of dollars. It takes quite a few traffic tickets to pay for that – not as many as it used to, but still a lot.


Some mistakes are still made. Some are imprisoned wrongly, as discovered years later. Some have been put to death mistakenly. Do we just accept the fallibility of the process? We all know we can’t be perfect, but innocent people have been put to death. How do we avoid executing that one person out of a thousand who really didn’t do it and save money too?

Penal Island 

Alcatraz was an island prison off of San Francisco. We need to select a small remote island for use as a prison and on it build nothing. Violent offenders will be dropped off with a week’s worth of rations and let them fend for themselves. No guards, no cable TV, no housing, no legal library, no gymnasium - nothing. The Island would have to be able to support vegetation, and have plenty of water, as this is not meant to be a death sentence.

If the prisoners wanted shelter, they would have to build it themselves. If Gilligan can do it, anyone can. If they wanted to eat, they would have to forage like the animals they’ve proven they are – within a reasonable doubt. If they were ambitious they could grow crops and plants. If they killed each other, so be it.

Prisoners would be able to build rafts after a while, this can’t be tolerated. Oceanic patrols would be necessary to ensure that there is no escape, but consider this cost against the expenses of all of those buildings housing death row inmates and we would save a huge sum of money and never execute another innocent prisoner.

This island would be for violent offenders only. We need to release all of our non-violent prisoners and reduce the burden of our prison system. With the reduction in the need for prison facilities, we can use them more productively (later) or sell the buildings to manufacturers who then can hire the non-violent law breakers who with any luck will be able to earn enough money to make restitution to their victims.

I ran this idea through my earth-worshiper liberal friend who knows everything about why elitists should make all the decisions directing our lives. He suggested that maybe when these prisoners are dropped off, that they would immediately be killed and robbed of all of their supplies. In this case it could be proven to be a death sentence. One would have to admit that there is no doubt that this is a possibility. After all, there are violent criminals on this island. When faced with an opposing argument based on logical reality, conservatives reconsider our ideas because we know that we do not live in fantasy land.

Since this penal colony is for dangerous outlaws, accustomed to administering brutality against innocent victims, I don’t have a lot of sympathy that a new guest might be in danger. Still, it is not meant to be a death sentence. The solution – drop them off with a 24 inch machete. They will need it anyway as a tool to cut brush and trees to make their hut. After more consideration, I would even consider also giving them a shovel to help in planting crops, building structures, and maybe for burying their friends. Perhaps we will give them a book about living off of the land. When my liberal friend argues many of these prisoners can’t read, my answer is that they could use the book to help light their first camp fire - if someone else is willing to show them how to start a fire.

Just make me dictator for a few months and I can straighten all of this out – plus, as you have just witnessed, I can adjust rationally on the fly when I make a minor error in initial judgment.

Next: Maximum Income Tax